There are prefect and beautiful girls out there. The drop dead gorgeous, perfect face, hair and body kind. And then there is me. I have none of those.
Im just ordinary with not particularly great looks or a personality I can be too proud of. I have no greater aim or calling and if I do I dont think I will get there cus I dont have the face for it. The only thing good about me is the fact that Im a bloody brilliant actress. I put on a mask every single day and nobody spots the act. They see a strong, confident woman with her priorities in place and head screwed firmly on her shoulders, never a woman who’s shattered on the inside and groping for her confidence and identity in the darkness. The darkness is filled with so many cliffs and voids, Im afraid I will one day fall into one and lose myself so entirely, that all thats left of me will be my act. In this darkness and quest to find myself, the only thing I know is real for certain is my love for him. But when you hold on to something so tight, it becomes the defining point of your existance. What if one day this selfsame person realised that the person to whom he was the world was infact so fargone that he didnt want to help save her? What if one day he woke up and didnt find her beautiful anymore? What if one day he realised that she would never be as accomplished or amazing as those other girls?
With nothing left to gear her to reality what would become of her? Would she fall into the dark abyss or drown herself in the deep black waters of helplessness? Would she find herself or make the act her identity? The act has always been who she was. He shakes up her whole being to make her who she is. He is the anchor that helps her hold it together and also the knife that frees the anchor from its rope.
She will never be beautiful or as well accomplished as those other women. But she loves him with all she is and will ever be. He is the only person she attempts to explore herself outside of the act for and if he is the man she thinks he is, he wont let her go.